Illustration by Khoa Tran

When watching Louis Theroux’s Inside The Manosphere documentary, one question came to mind: how do I protect my two younger brothers? When discussing feminism, we often forget a fundamental step in dismantling the patriarchy: redefining masculinity itself.

In conversation with Justin Waller, an entrepreneur and manosphere guru, Louis happened to meet two of his disciples. He asked one of them what he had learnt from Waller’s teachings. The young man didn’t hesitate: “life as a man, you’re born without value. We have to build that value.” Women, meanwhile, Waller preached, possess intrinsic value tied to their beauty.

Beyond the biceps and performative dominance, lies mere deluded insecurity. If boys are taught from the outset they are not valuable, they are primed to chase it elsewhere. Through high body counts, perfect gym mirror selfies and a loaded bank account, they are promised self-worth.

And directing it all is the liquor of stoicism. In the manosphere, stoicism is more than a philosophy, it’s a performance. It is a metric of manliness; the more you mute your emotions the more disciplined you appear. Because this version of stoicism must be visible to count, it morphs into aesthetics. Muscle-nity becomes masculinity. The bigger the biceps, the higher your worth. Strength is distorted into a costume of self-sufficiency, proving you need no one.

Fail to embody this, and you are not “man enough”.

It is this use of shaming that allows the frontmen of the manosphere to exploit vulnerable young minds. The first step is to belittle; the second is to sell. Once they have convinced these young boys that they are incomplete, they are offered false promises of brotherhood and mentorship that will supposedly rescue them from inferiority. And with the rise of social media, these controversial takes become extremely efficient marketing tools. The final step is profit: followers become assets, and their attention, devotion and insecurity are monetised. It’s a complete, sickening business plan. 

And we wonder why violence against women continues to skyrocket, representing almost 20% of all recorded crime across England and Wales, according to NPCC. When boys are taught that dominance is the only route to “value”, some will inevitably reach to violence when all other performances fail. Let’s be clear: this isn’t a justification nor a pardoning of such crimes, but a genuine desire to understand where it stems from. Because the increasing rate of male violence against women and increasing male suicide rates are not isolated issues; they are intertwined. In early 2025, the male suicide rate remained at 17 deaths per 100,000. Being emotionally suffocated by pretence, while some exert that pressure outward, others exert that pressure inwards, internalising that their existence serves no purpose.

That’s why it’s so frustrating to be labelled a ‘man-hater’ as a feminist, because it is assumed feminism ignites gender wars. The manosphere insists feminism is an attack against masculinity, so they fight back by asserting dominance. Yet feminism has never been a war on men; it’s been a protest against a system. We ask for something simple: equality.

But perhaps the question itself and our approach is wrong. We’ve tried to solve inequality by policing gender roles, redefining them, arguing over them, but what if we took a step back from the battlefield? When we stop obsessing over whether we are “man enough” or “woman enough”, only then can we ask the real question: “ain’t I human?” Humanity should be our starting point; it is the only way we can move beyond the binaries that divide us. So, if I want to protect my brothers, I won’t teach them to be ‘better men’. I have to teach them that their humanity is what makes them valuable.